Stephen Sondheim’s draft for Getting Married Today
Bernadette Peters, Sunday in the Park with George
I’d be in the Follies. I’d be in a cabaret. Gentlemen in tall silk hats and linen spats would wait with flowers. I could make them wait for hours. Giddy young aristocrats with fancy flats would drink my health, and I would be as hard as nails and they’d only want me more… If I was a folly girl…
When you’re a Jet
You’re a Jet all the way
From your first cigarette
To your last dyin’ day.
“Jet Song” from West Side Story by Leonard Bernstein and Stephen Sondheim
In this latest interpretation of the American classic, the Jets are played by Lemurs and the Sharks by Chinchillas. Renegade director, Andrew Armadiaz, says that his hope is to revolutionize musical theatre by including lesser known rodent races. Skeptics say that many of his performers lack the polish of traditional rat, mouse and hamster led companies. Armadiaz said he can take the criticism as he is tough skinned. Critics fired back that making puns about being an armadillo is incredibly tacky.
Johnny lived with a grace and glitter.
Kind of like the lives he lived on stage.
Died in a barn in pain and bitter
Twenty-seven years of age.
Why did you do it, Johnny,
Throw it all away?
Why did you do it, boy,
Not just destroy
The pride and joy
But all the U.S.A.?
Your brother made you jealous, John,
You couldn’t fill his shoes.
Was that the reason, tell us, John-
Along with bad reviews?
Craig Lucas — “Uptown, Downtown” (cut from Follies) — Marry Me A Little (1980)
Now, this is the tale of a dame
Known as Harriet
Who climbed to the top of the heap
From the bottom
A beautiful life was her aim
And to vary it
She wanted the Sun and the Moon
And she got ‘em
She isn’t the least exhausted from her climb
But she does look back from time to time
And the subject of this evening’s quiz
Is who she was, and who she is!